Thursday, September 29, 2005

one of those weeks. . .


giraffe lick
Originally uploaded by sharjoy18.
Ever just have one of those weeks that you want to stick your tongue out to? Well, life is full of the unexpected. . . it's to expect the unexpected. If life went as we planned or as we desired, life would be so boring. God knows what we need when we need it, but somehow I lose sight of that many times in life and than bam! He hits me with something unexpected that throws me off me feet and brings me back to Him. God has truly been working in my heart, in ways that I didn't exactly expect or even want.

This week started with some reactions from the prank I played on Dan last week, but just to have you know he started it by vandalizing my classroom. Through many different people and things said to him everything came out from this past year. I feel relieved surprisingly. Yes I did struggle with my emotions of liking Dan last year and even some this past month. The struggle this past month was that I didn't want to like him anymore, but I was confused by his actions and what he was saying to me. Needless to say it all came out and now we understand where each other are coming from. We are just friends and I am perfectly content with that. God is truly good. If this would've happened last year, I woud've been heart broken. . . but God's timing is perfect.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

escape from reality


escape from reality
Originally uploaded by sharjoy18.
Ok so the title of this picture that I found caught my attention. It is so much like most of us, wanting to escape from reality--avoiding our problems. So much would I like to escape from certain issues in my life and move away. For some reason I think moving or "escaping from reality" will make my problems go away, but in actuality your problems just go with you and sometimes get worse.

I think I know what is best for me, but only the Lord knows that one. The school year started off with finding out the reason I have been sick for so long is because I have mono. Of course I find out the day my sister had her baby girl, so I couldn't even go to the hospital to hold her. But God had his perfect timing and I was able to hold her last night for the first time!

Another reality thing that kinda kicks my butt is this whole dating thing. I wish that I could get passed this struggle in my life. I know that marriage isn't perfect and that it has it's problems, but I just want a different set of problems to deal with for varieties sake. Idealy I would like to skip the whole dating thing and go right to engagement. It would be so nice for "the one" to come up to me and say "I love you will you marry me?". . .skip from friends to engagement. I know that this is not going to happen, because you need that dating time to figure certain things out in a relationship. I just hate the limbo of pre-dating relationships where you are unsure of their feelings for you. I also hate after dating when things don't work out. Whether you break up with them or they break up with you, it is no fun just pure hurt feelings and awkwardness for a while afterwards.

So as I sit and think of my ideal life and try and escape from reality, I realize that if I had my ideal life, I would be bored. More importantly I wouldn't depend on the Lord for anything either. So I will struggle through the same old things until God removes them in His timing.