ambition

ambition
Originally uploaded by sharjoy18.

So I haven't blogged in over a month, but I do have an excuse. For three out of the past 4 weeks I have been at camp as a counselor. I have also been getting ready for the school year to start and some unexpected events have occured this summer.

Camp was splendid. I can't believe how much God has spoken to me up there, even as a counselor. Emotionally, this summer has been a rollar coaster and a whirlwind. Nothing that I expected to happen happened, and the unexpected happened.

The last time I blogged I was confused between two boys, not being able to sort out my feelings, and afraid to let go of a long time interest in one boy. God has definitely shown me the carnality of the heart and how easily one can fall. I did end up dating the new interest for the summer, in attempt to totally let go of my long time past interest. We only "dated" for less than 24 hours because some events occurred that were inappropriate on his part in those 24 hours. It took me a while to get over the fact that I could've prevented his actions.

Through wise counsel I have backed away from that relationship, because the main thing that drew me to it was the attention I was recieving. I was not all about him, like he was all about me. We did talk things out on many occasians, of which he did repeatedly apologized for his actions that night. I did forgive him, but since my heart was never totally in the relationship, I have no desire to keep a dating relationship going with him. I thank God that the Lord stopped me from going too far into a relationship with him.

So after all of that relationship mess I spent a lot of time at camp throwing myself and all that God has taught me into teens lives. I truly feel that God used them more in my life than I was used in theirs. God is so faithful and full of grace and mercy! He has shown me so much about my own heart and how the impurities that are in it.