The picture is of a couple of my 5th grade students at recess. I can not express how much I love teaching. Yes, there are days that I just don't think I can make it (like today), but God always blesses no matter how insufficient I am! The students in my class are awesome, and I am so thankful for the teachable spirits.
Last night, I was out with my girlfriends at Kambi's birthday party. I was a little tentative about going, because I usually hang out with the boys and thought I would feel out of the loop. So as much as I have fun hanging out with the boys, I love my girlfriends! I don't know what I would do without them. I thank God for all of them, and I pray that God blesses them and their future. I was out til 1 am talking and sharing what we have been learning in our relationship with the Lord. It was so encouraging and rebuking. Those times of talking and sharing are the best times to learn!
I am at a point right now, where I am unsure if I should even keep putting effort into friendships with the boys. Don't get me wrong, because I do love them in Christ and often enjoy the goofing off and carefree fun I have with them. The only thing is that it is often not an uplifting experience. It's complete sarcasm, most times. I am at the point where I do not desire to be in a friendship based on sarcasm. Part of that is my fault, because I know that I just feed off of them. I don't like how I act around them, and I realized that I don't act that way around anyone else. Yes, I love sarcasm, but I know that my other friends and my family love me no matter what. They don't think less of me or use me just as a source of sarcasm. There is a basis to our relationships far deeper than a sarcastic humor. I am just not sure it is that way with some of these guys. Yes, there are a couple that I know I have a good friendship with, but the greater majority, I am not sure that there is anything past the sarcasm. So should I give up on putting effort into the relationship when I feel like some of these guys don't put that much effort into it? Is it wrong to give up a friendship? That is the hardest thing for me to do. I am an extremely loyal person by nature, so when I have invested a lot of time with people I grow attached.
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