A New Day!

This weekend proved to be an unexpected emotional overload. As I posted on friday, I needed a good cry which I got on the way to the basketball game that day, as well as on Saturday talking to my sister on the phone and on Sunday night as I prayed myself to sleep. After each cry there was a temporary relief of the emotional tension inside. I know that God is teaching me so many things, and changing my heart to be more like His!

When I was talking to my sister, I did not think I was going to cry, but the next thing I knew I was sniffling and tearing. The tears came down hard, and it was not because I was upset or mad. I am just overwhelmed. My sister and I are struggling with the same thing, just manifested in two different ways. We are both afraid of getting excited about what appears to be coming in our lives. We are afraid of the disappointed that may come if we let our emotions get excited. The disappointment of having our hopes dashed, and our desires put on hold for even longer. Even now as I think about it, I feel the emotional tension.

I know that God has a perfect plan no matter how long He puts my desires on hold. It is hard for my finite mind and emotions to understand that God works with a lifetime, not just with one situation and desire. One of my teachers in college stated that sometimes God's greatest mercies are His refusals. Although I may feel overwhelmed with life, today is a new day that God can use despite my insufficiencies. It is a daily battle to bear the cross God has given me to bear. The cross God gave me to bear is the one that will draw me closest to Him!