Monday, April 10, 2006

letting go

I find myself today in a spot that would not be exactly where I want to be, but it is where God has me. One situation after the other where God has caused me to sit back and reflect on relationships in my life. Analyzing whether they are truly edifying or pulling me down. I would rather just keep going on my merry little way without having to honestly deal with certain things that God has brought to my attention. I just do not want to be uncomfortable, but I am thankful for how God is stretching me recently in ways I was not expecting.

So I am learning to let go of control of resolving issues that I can not control. I have done my part and therefore it is in God's hands. I have to admit the hardest part is the realization that leaving issues unresolved between a friend and me could very possibly mean that I will be no more than mere acquaintences with them for the time being. Even more permamently, I will lose them as a friend altogether. In the long run, I know if he does not wish to resolve what has come between us, than he does not value the friendship and therefore the relationship becomes one-sided/lop-sided. God has shown me that kind of relationship is not something I want to be a part of long-term or I will just keep setting myself up for hurt time after time.

I am also learning to let go of having expectations of this friend that I know in his character he can not fulfill. I can not change him, I can only pray.

I am learning to let go of not being able to reconcile in my heart the hurt I feel from this friendship and the blessings and good times I can recall. It is so hard to let go of the things I do enjoy from this friendship. I enjoy his sense of humor, his prank-pulling ability, sarcasm, listening and concerning heart at some points . . .

It is amazing how this morning I was destrought over having to let these things go, and the amazing power of prayer of my friends I know sense. I thought for sure I would not make it through the day without losing it once, but God gave me the peace that passes what I understand from the situation.

3 comments:

Tyararr J. Jones said...

Hey Sharon, I have been praying for you. It is encouraging to read that you are daily striving to be sensitive to the Lord's leading and responding the way that you should. It is tough. Circumstances that turn against us force dependence...Circumstances that force dependence teach us patience...Circumstances that teach us patience make us wise. May the Lord bless and keep you as you continue to let go and let Him have His way. Have a great day in the Lord!!

Kelli said...

Those situations are never easy. I will be praying for you as you follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit to do what is right. I pray He will give you the strength and also that this friend will change and become more conformed to the image of God! Rest in Christ's love and realize that He is your very best friend!

Anonymous said...

thanks for being honest. you have been an encouragement to me.