The Lord knows what I need even when I do not ask for it. He provided me with an extra long weekend due to the blessings of a snow day today:o) It was such a blessing to wake up without an alarm clock and to wake up to daylight! Yes, tomorrow I must go back to the usual routine, but for today I will forget about the usual things I worry about.
Another blessing is the fact that Basketball season is done and I no longer will have to stay after school for practices and games. I can have a somewhat normal schedule and hopefully no longer feel like I am flying by the seat of my pants.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and the girls and I are having a dinner at my house! I refuse to wallow in the fact that I do not have that special someone to share this holiday with. God gave me fabulous friends, so why not celebrate with them?!
Monday, February 13, 2006
Friday, February 10, 2006
AAAHH!
I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!!! Today is the first day I felt like throwing one particular student up against the wall. The Lord had to give me the patience! She has failed 5 out of the 6 past spelling tests. As a result, she has had to do extra work. Now she does not get her extra work in, and makes up manipulative excuses and cries crocodile tears to get out of the trouble she is in. I have talked to her mom 3 times about it, and nothing changes. I have talked to the girl about it on numerous occasions, once again to no avail. She rarely studies and acts rejected when she fails. On top of the pure laziness, she has the nerve to cock an attitude and role her eyes, which she gets in trouble for as well. Needless to say if her work is not done on Monday morning by 8:15 am she will be marched right into the Principal's office!
Thursday, February 09, 2006
the same old
Nothing exciting to report on, nor is their anything deep on my mind. It is just a typical day full of typical events with my typical students and my typical friends. Typical, typical, typical. . . routine, routine, routine. . . but in two days that will change. Basketball season will be done and I will have a little bit more freedom.
I will not have to truck myself to and from practices and games and spend 16 hour days doing "calvary things". I love the opportunity God has given me with the cheerleaders, but I feel Calvary overload and a bit burnt out. It is time to be replenished and refilled so that I can give out what God wants me to give.
I will not have to truck myself to and from practices and games and spend 16 hour days doing "calvary things". I love the opportunity God has given me with the cheerleaders, but I feel Calvary overload and a bit burnt out. It is time to be replenished and refilled so that I can give out what God wants me to give.
Monday, February 06, 2006
I Corinthians 10:13
"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it" (ESV). This is the verse for the week for my 5th graders to memorize. It is amazing to me how hypocritical I feel when I am teaching them this verse and yet struggle with what it says.
It is not that I do not believe that God can provide a way to escape temptation. It is the fact that I do not think that I can endure it. I personally do not want to endure anything, but I know that if I did not I would not grow closer to my Savior. It is a bitter-sweet thing. In James it says to count it a joy when trials and temptations come our way. The longer I live the more I realize that it is true. Now, I am not old and wise, but I do know how strong my relationship with the Lord is when I am in temptation and trials. It is definitely a daily struggle, if not an hourly struggle. I am always thankful after the struggle of going through the temptation that I went through it. It brings me to a point where I can only endure it because of the strength God gives me.
It is not that I do not believe that God can provide a way to escape temptation. It is the fact that I do not think that I can endure it. I personally do not want to endure anything, but I know that if I did not I would not grow closer to my Savior. It is a bitter-sweet thing. In James it says to count it a joy when trials and temptations come our way. The longer I live the more I realize that it is true. Now, I am not old and wise, but I do know how strong my relationship with the Lord is when I am in temptation and trials. It is definitely a daily struggle, if not an hourly struggle. I am always thankful after the struggle of going through the temptation that I went through it. It brings me to a point where I can only endure it because of the strength God gives me.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Is the Cross You Wear to Heavy to Bear?
Is the Cross You Wear Too Heavy to Bear?
Complaining I told myself
this cross was too heavy to wear,
And I wondered discontentedly
why God gave it to me to bear.
I looked with envy at others
whose crosses seemed lighter than mine
And wished that I could change my cross
for one of a lighter design.
Then in a dream I beheld the cross
I impulsively wanted to wear--
It was fashioned of pearls and diamonds
and gems that are precious and rare,
And when I hung it around my neck,
the weight of the jewels and the gold
Was much too heavy and cumbersome
for my small, slender neck to hold.
So I tossed it aside, and before my eyes
was a cross of rose-red flowers,
And I said with delight as I put it on,
"This cross I can wear for hours."
For it was so dainty and fragile,
so lovely and light and thin,
But I had forgotten about the thorns
that started to pierce my skin.
Then in a dream I saw my cross--
rugged and old and plain--
The clumsy old cross I had looked upon
with dicontented disdain,
And at last I knew that God had made
this special cross for me,
For God in His great wisdom
knew what I before could not see--
That often the loveliest crosses
are the heaviest crosses to bear,
For only God is wise enough
to choose the cross each can wear.
So never complain about your cross,
for your cross has been blessed--
God made it just for you to wear
and remember, God knows best.
by Helen Steiner Rice
Book of Blessings
Complaining I told myself
this cross was too heavy to wear,
And I wondered discontentedly
why God gave it to me to bear.
I looked with envy at others
whose crosses seemed lighter than mine
And wished that I could change my cross
for one of a lighter design.
Then in a dream I beheld the cross
I impulsively wanted to wear--
It was fashioned of pearls and diamonds
and gems that are precious and rare,
And when I hung it around my neck,
the weight of the jewels and the gold
Was much too heavy and cumbersome
for my small, slender neck to hold.
So I tossed it aside, and before my eyes
was a cross of rose-red flowers,
And I said with delight as I put it on,
"This cross I can wear for hours."
For it was so dainty and fragile,
so lovely and light and thin,
But I had forgotten about the thorns
that started to pierce my skin.
Then in a dream I saw my cross--
rugged and old and plain--
The clumsy old cross I had looked upon
with dicontented disdain,
And at last I knew that God had made
this special cross for me,
For God in His great wisdom
knew what I before could not see--
That often the loveliest crosses
are the heaviest crosses to bear,
For only God is wise enough
to choose the cross each can wear.
So never complain about your cross,
for your cross has been blessed--
God made it just for you to wear
and remember, God knows best.
by Helen Steiner Rice
Book of Blessings
Monday, January 30, 2006
A New Day!
This weekend proved to be an unexpected emotional overload. As I posted on friday, I needed a good cry which I got on the way to the basketball game that day, as well as on Saturday talking to my sister on the phone and on Sunday night as I prayed myself to sleep. After each cry there was a temporary relief of the emotional tension inside. I know that God is teaching me so many things, and changing my heart to be more like His!
When I was talking to my sister, I did not think I was going to cry, but the next thing I knew I was sniffling and tearing. The tears came down hard, and it was not because I was upset or mad. I am just overwhelmed. My sister and I are struggling with the same thing, just manifested in two different ways. We are both afraid of getting excited about what appears to be coming in our lives. We are afraid of the disappointed that may come if we let our emotions get excited. The disappointment of having our hopes dashed, and our desires put on hold for even longer. Even now as I think about it, I feel the emotional tension.
I know that God has a perfect plan no matter how long He puts my desires on hold. It is hard for my finite mind and emotions to understand that God works with a lifetime, not just with one situation and desire. One of my teachers in college stated that sometimes God's greatest mercies are His refusals. Although I may feel overwhelmed with life, today is a new day that God can use despite my insufficiencies. It is a daily battle to bear the cross God has given me to bear. The cross God gave me to bear is the one that will draw me closest to Him!
When I was talking to my sister, I did not think I was going to cry, but the next thing I knew I was sniffling and tearing. The tears came down hard, and it was not because I was upset or mad. I am just overwhelmed. My sister and I are struggling with the same thing, just manifested in two different ways. We are both afraid of getting excited about what appears to be coming in our lives. We are afraid of the disappointed that may come if we let our emotions get excited. The disappointment of having our hopes dashed, and our desires put on hold for even longer. Even now as I think about it, I feel the emotional tension.
I know that God has a perfect plan no matter how long He puts my desires on hold. It is hard for my finite mind and emotions to understand that God works with a lifetime, not just with one situation and desire. One of my teachers in college stated that sometimes God's greatest mercies are His refusals. Although I may feel overwhelmed with life, today is a new day that God can use despite my insufficiencies. It is a daily battle to bear the cross God has given me to bear. The cross God gave me to bear is the one that will draw me closest to Him!
Friday, January 27, 2006
about to break. . .
Friday, today is friday. I am seriously about to break down. It seems that every friday for the past few weeks I have felt this way. I need a good cry, to let the tension out that I feel inside. I can not pin point one reason why I feel this way, but I think it is just the building up of a number of things over a week.
It is not feeling like playing this dating game. I do not like the ups and downs of the emotional rollar coaster that it takes you on. I am tired of playing the game. The game of trying not to read into thing said or done. The game of "limbo-land" where you do not know where you stand.
I am tired of never being home and extending myself in so many directions. I want to be able to put more into my teaching. I want to be able to have a social life without feeling guilty for it taking time away from what I should be doing.
I am tired of being picked on endlessly by the boys. I do not like the way I act when I am around so much sarcasm. It makes me feel defensive and unwanted. I truly do not know if they really feel annoyed by my presence or not.
I am tired of being on edge. I know that my emotions are blown out of proportion when I am not getting enough sleep. I make a big deal out of things that are not really that big as I feel they are.
I am tired of often pretending to be excited for my friends as they plan their weddings, when really I desire is to plan my own. I know God has someone out there for me, but it is so hard to wait.
I know that this post is rather negative in nature. I wish I could always be that "happy-go-lucky" person people perceive me to be. I know that even when I do not "feel" God's presence He is there. I know that God holds every tear I cry in His hand. I know that no matter how pathetic or stupid my seeming problems are, God helps me through them. I just needed to let it all out and return to a focus on God. I do not know what I would do without my relationship with the Lord. Even if all these things that I am tired of are placed in my life to draw me closer to Him, that is all that I need. I do not need to know the reason why God places things in my life; I just need to trust.
It is not feeling like playing this dating game. I do not like the ups and downs of the emotional rollar coaster that it takes you on. I am tired of playing the game. The game of trying not to read into thing said or done. The game of "limbo-land" where you do not know where you stand.
I am tired of never being home and extending myself in so many directions. I want to be able to put more into my teaching. I want to be able to have a social life without feeling guilty for it taking time away from what I should be doing.
I am tired of being picked on endlessly by the boys. I do not like the way I act when I am around so much sarcasm. It makes me feel defensive and unwanted. I truly do not know if they really feel annoyed by my presence or not.
I am tired of being on edge. I know that my emotions are blown out of proportion when I am not getting enough sleep. I make a big deal out of things that are not really that big as I feel they are.
I am tired of often pretending to be excited for my friends as they plan their weddings, when really I desire is to plan my own. I know God has someone out there for me, but it is so hard to wait.
I know that this post is rather negative in nature. I wish I could always be that "happy-go-lucky" person people perceive me to be. I know that even when I do not "feel" God's presence He is there. I know that God holds every tear I cry in His hand. I know that no matter how pathetic or stupid my seeming problems are, God helps me through them. I just needed to let it all out and return to a focus on God. I do not know what I would do without my relationship with the Lord. Even if all these things that I am tired of are placed in my life to draw me closer to Him, that is all that I need. I do not need to know the reason why God places things in my life; I just need to trust.
Monday, January 23, 2006
life and teaching. . .
The picture is of a couple of my 5th grade students at recess. I can not express how much I love teaching. Yes, there are days that I just don't think I can make it (like today), but God always blesses no matter how insufficient I am! The students in my class are awesome, and I am so thankful for the teachable spirits.
Last night, I was out with my girlfriends at Kambi's birthday party. I was a little tentative about going, because I usually hang out with the boys and thought I would feel out of the loop. So as much as I have fun hanging out with the boys, I love my girlfriends! I don't know what I would do without them. I thank God for all of them, and I pray that God blesses them and their future. I was out til 1 am talking and sharing what we have been learning in our relationship with the Lord. It was so encouraging and rebuking. Those times of talking and sharing are the best times to learn!
I am at a point right now, where I am unsure if I should even keep putting effort into friendships with the boys. Don't get me wrong, because I do love them in Christ and often enjoy the goofing off and carefree fun I have with them. The only thing is that it is often not an uplifting experience. It's complete sarcasm, most times. I am at the point where I do not desire to be in a friendship based on sarcasm. Part of that is my fault, because I know that I just feed off of them. I don't like how I act around them, and I realized that I don't act that way around anyone else. Yes, I love sarcasm, but I know that my other friends and my family love me no matter what. They don't think less of me or use me just as a source of sarcasm. There is a basis to our relationships far deeper than a sarcastic humor. I am just not sure it is that way with some of these guys. Yes, there are a couple that I know I have a good friendship with, but the greater majority, I am not sure that there is anything past the sarcasm. So should I give up on putting effort into the relationship when I feel like some of these guys don't put that much effort into it? Is it wrong to give up a friendship? That is the hardest thing for me to do. I am an extremely loyal person by nature, so when I have invested a lot of time with people I grow attached.
Last night, I was out with my girlfriends at Kambi's birthday party. I was a little tentative about going, because I usually hang out with the boys and thought I would feel out of the loop. So as much as I have fun hanging out with the boys, I love my girlfriends! I don't know what I would do without them. I thank God for all of them, and I pray that God blesses them and their future. I was out til 1 am talking and sharing what we have been learning in our relationship with the Lord. It was so encouraging and rebuking. Those times of talking and sharing are the best times to learn!
I am at a point right now, where I am unsure if I should even keep putting effort into friendships with the boys. Don't get me wrong, because I do love them in Christ and often enjoy the goofing off and carefree fun I have with them. The only thing is that it is often not an uplifting experience. It's complete sarcasm, most times. I am at the point where I do not desire to be in a friendship based on sarcasm. Part of that is my fault, because I know that I just feed off of them. I don't like how I act around them, and I realized that I don't act that way around anyone else. Yes, I love sarcasm, but I know that my other friends and my family love me no matter what. They don't think less of me or use me just as a source of sarcasm. There is a basis to our relationships far deeper than a sarcastic humor. I am just not sure it is that way with some of these guys. Yes, there are a couple that I know I have a good friendship with, but the greater majority, I am not sure that there is anything past the sarcasm. So should I give up on putting effort into the relationship when I feel like some of these guys don't put that much effort into it? Is it wrong to give up a friendship? That is the hardest thing for me to do. I am an extremely loyal person by nature, so when I have invested a lot of time with people I grow attached.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Luke's Birthday
Yesterday was my nephew Luke's Birthday. He turned four and decided to give up his bo-bo (his blanket that he sucks on when he goes to sleep). I went over to his house yesterday to download songs onto my iPod nano, and I delivered his birthday gift. He is one of the most excitable children ever! You could give him the most simple thing, and yet he would show you so much enthusiasm. I gave him a batman cape and batman figure. According to Luke, superman was last year. This year it is BATMAN!
On to another topic. . . I spent the weekend at our church camp counseling for Jr. High winter weekend. It was worth it in the end, but boy am I tired! I'm definitely not built for the voilent games that I once enjoyed just 5 short years ago. I have bruises and soreness to show for the weekend as well. The girls in my cabin were awesome. I got to share my heart with them, and share what God has changed me with recently. For some of them it was like preaching to the choir. For others I pray God used my feeble words to penetrate their hearts and attitudes. It's hard to watch some of the girls struggle with the same issues I struggled with. I wish that I could remove the pain and the struggle, but without it they wouldn't grow closer in their relationship with the Lord.
On to another topic. . . I spent the weekend at our church camp counseling for Jr. High winter weekend. It was worth it in the end, but boy am I tired! I'm definitely not built for the voilent games that I once enjoyed just 5 short years ago. I have bruises and soreness to show for the weekend as well. The girls in my cabin were awesome. I got to share my heart with them, and share what God has changed me with recently. For some of them it was like preaching to the choir. For others I pray God used my feeble words to penetrate their hearts and attitudes. It's hard to watch some of the girls struggle with the same issues I struggled with. I wish that I could remove the pain and the struggle, but without it they wouldn't grow closer in their relationship with the Lord.
Friday, January 13, 2006
II Corinthians 9:15
"Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift." I can not say how thankful I am to God for all that He has given me. There is so much to be thankful for, and yet I find myself on a daily basis becoming discontent with my life circumstances. I have been reminded repeatedly this past month or so of God's grace to me. His grace does not make my life easy, but it gives me an eternal hope.
Last night at Bible study, Tim Willard came and we discussed his article "Mimicking the Mainstream". I can say that it was one of the best, if not the best Bible study I have been to. It was real, down to earth. No hypothetical and lofty questions, but questions that cut right to the core of life. We compared the mega-churches with the high churches and observed how each church movement reacts off of the last. It's not a matter of what church you go to, necessarily, but a question of the reality of your relationship with Christ. Yes, you should try and find a good Bible-believing church, but the church is not your relationship. It's hard not to be reactionary to the super strictness of a high church's legalism or the mega church's faux-finished faith. Our faith is simple, but not easy. We are called to worship God even in His death. Is death an easy thing? No, our relationship with the Lord is a hard and often painful experience. In order to die to self, there is pain involved. The flesh does not die easily. It all comes down to dying to self, not a reaction to a church movement.
As I finish this blog, I wanted to leave a few quotes from the article.
"Making a disciple of Christ takes time. It is hard. It is not something that takes place at a huge conference or outreach event. It is life on life."
"The fruit of discipleship surfaces a few years down the line when those young people in the youth group have graduated and come back to the church not to be entertained but to plug into someone."
"I work witha group of young adults who are thirsty for an authentic Christian experience. They want to grow in their spiritual lives. They desire what Paul desired more than anything: to know God."
"The Christian landscape heaves with shallow people, content to live out their faith in the plush sanctuaries of the American church."
Last night at Bible study, Tim Willard came and we discussed his article "Mimicking the Mainstream". I can say that it was one of the best, if not the best Bible study I have been to. It was real, down to earth. No hypothetical and lofty questions, but questions that cut right to the core of life. We compared the mega-churches with the high churches and observed how each church movement reacts off of the last. It's not a matter of what church you go to, necessarily, but a question of the reality of your relationship with Christ. Yes, you should try and find a good Bible-believing church, but the church is not your relationship. It's hard not to be reactionary to the super strictness of a high church's legalism or the mega church's faux-finished faith. Our faith is simple, but not easy. We are called to worship God even in His death. Is death an easy thing? No, our relationship with the Lord is a hard and often painful experience. In order to die to self, there is pain involved. The flesh does not die easily. It all comes down to dying to self, not a reaction to a church movement.
As I finish this blog, I wanted to leave a few quotes from the article.
"Making a disciple of Christ takes time. It is hard. It is not something that takes place at a huge conference or outreach event. It is life on life."
"The fruit of discipleship surfaces a few years down the line when those young people in the youth group have graduated and come back to the church not to be entertained but to plug into someone."
"I work witha group of young adults who are thirsty for an authentic Christian experience. They want to grow in their spiritual lives. They desire what Paul desired more than anything: to know God."
"The Christian landscape heaves with shallow people, content to live out their faith in the plush sanctuaries of the American church."
Monday, January 09, 2006
prayer
So the picture has nothing to do with what this post is about. I just couldn't post something without a picture. . . it would just feel so empty.
Lately I have been burdened to pray more for my friends. Whether they be across the country or around the area, going through a hard time or a time of blessing, they all need prayer. Not that I didn't pray for them before, but I know I should pray for them more.
A lot of things have been heavy on my heart with the internal struggles and pressures that they feel. It hit me right between the eyes yesterday. I had the head knowledge of past mistakes that my friend could have potentially made, but for him to say it straight out it made it more real. We were talking about relationships and what the typical thing guys are after in a relationship, whether they're unsaved or not. He just said that I would probably look down on him and other guys if I knew what they did. I don't know specifics, but yet it was still discouraging to think that even my good Christian guy friends would fall in such an area. I don't think less of them, I just pray that they are past their mistakes in life and are maturing in the Lord.
It's not like I am perfect in that area either, and my friend who said this all to me knows that. That is what makes me scared and heavy-hearted about what he has done in his past. I know it is in his past, and I pray it stays that way. It's just becoming more and more real to me how perverse our flesh is, and how hard it is to stay pure. The funny thing is that little teenage girls think that they way they dress and the way the act around boys is fine. When in all actuality it hightens the temptation for the boys.
There is much more to say on that topic, but as this is going to be posted on the web, I decided to keep it general without any specific names listed.
Lately I have been burdened to pray more for my friends. Whether they be across the country or around the area, going through a hard time or a time of blessing, they all need prayer. Not that I didn't pray for them before, but I know I should pray for them more.
A lot of things have been heavy on my heart with the internal struggles and pressures that they feel. It hit me right between the eyes yesterday. I had the head knowledge of past mistakes that my friend could have potentially made, but for him to say it straight out it made it more real. We were talking about relationships and what the typical thing guys are after in a relationship, whether they're unsaved or not. He just said that I would probably look down on him and other guys if I knew what they did. I don't know specifics, but yet it was still discouraging to think that even my good Christian guy friends would fall in such an area. I don't think less of them, I just pray that they are past their mistakes in life and are maturing in the Lord.
It's not like I am perfect in that area either, and my friend who said this all to me knows that. That is what makes me scared and heavy-hearted about what he has done in his past. I know it is in his past, and I pray it stays that way. It's just becoming more and more real to me how perverse our flesh is, and how hard it is to stay pure. The funny thing is that little teenage girls think that they way they dress and the way the act around boys is fine. When in all actuality it hightens the temptation for the boys.
There is much more to say on that topic, but as this is going to be posted on the web, I decided to keep it general without any specific names listed.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Raspy Laughs. . .
Khehehehehe. . . many raspy laughs. . . yes only a select few actually know what I am talking about. Rebeast and I love our raspy laughs, and well are deemed appropriate on certain conversations and occasions. It's almost an evil laugh coming from the back of one's throat, sounding almost like a smoker's laugh. It often occurs when one is recalling humurous events that have taken place or observing someone else's reaction to a prank or event. Rebeast is the founder of the laugh and I now have acquired my own raspiness. Once one has acquired the laugh, it is hard to predict when it will appear. . . and therefore provides a little variety to one's laughing ensemble.
So I have also figured out that I am completely random. My thoughts are random and therefore my talk is random. One may never know what may come out of my mouth as a result of a random thought. . . I like to call it creativity, but others say otherwise.
Last week I spent the week in Chi-Town with my bud, Melissa Thacker. We had a grand old time ice skating, staying up to the wee hours of the morning talking and of course sleeping in to the late hours of the morning. It was a wonderful time of fellowship and relaxation. For one, to be away from Calvary is a rarity in my life. To be someplace where you are no longer a teacher, or the pastor's daughter or the cheerleading coach was definitely a well needed change of pace.
Speaking of randomness, another random thought by yours truly. . . and on the more serious side. . . I truly appreciate the friends God has given me. It's amazing how I look back since I have graduated from NBBC and see who God has brought across my path when I needed it most. First there was Rebeka (aka Rebeast), who I am have known since Kindergarten, but since graduation we have become closer. We appreciate each other's randomness and I know she prays for me as much as I pray for her. . . and that is so important to me. Then there is Melissa, who I met this summer. She has been a blessing because of our common struggles in life, and the encouraging talks we have. God brought her along right in the middle of a monstrousity of a trial this summer. I thank the Lord for all of my friends and the encouragement they are to me!
So I have also figured out that I am completely random. My thoughts are random and therefore my talk is random. One may never know what may come out of my mouth as a result of a random thought. . . I like to call it creativity, but others say otherwise.
Last week I spent the week in Chi-Town with my bud, Melissa Thacker. We had a grand old time ice skating, staying up to the wee hours of the morning talking and of course sleeping in to the late hours of the morning. It was a wonderful time of fellowship and relaxation. For one, to be away from Calvary is a rarity in my life. To be someplace where you are no longer a teacher, or the pastor's daughter or the cheerleading coach was definitely a well needed change of pace.
Speaking of randomness, another random thought by yours truly. . . and on the more serious side. . . I truly appreciate the friends God has given me. It's amazing how I look back since I have graduated from NBBC and see who God has brought across my path when I needed it most. First there was Rebeka (aka Rebeast), who I am have known since Kindergarten, but since graduation we have become closer. We appreciate each other's randomness and I know she prays for me as much as I pray for her. . . and that is so important to me. Then there is Melissa, who I met this summer. She has been a blessing because of our common struggles in life, and the encouraging talks we have. God brought her along right in the middle of a monstrousity of a trial this summer. I thank the Lord for all of my friends and the encouragement they are to me!
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Casting Crowns
This concert was amazing! My friend, Rebeka, and I went to their concert in Allentown on Nov. 12th. I loved it, minus their opening band. Their opening band was a little too hard core for me. I couldn't even understand what they were singing:oP
Casting Crowns was awesome. They shared a testimony before each song of why they wrote the song or how God used that song in their life. Not that I necessarily agree with some of the stuff they did at the end of the concert, but on the whole it was a very encouraging concert to go to.
This is my third blog, three days in a row! That hasn't happened since the spring! I think that I actually feel a little into a routine with the new school year. I guess with a new grade to teach and helping out with Cheerleading after school, things have gotten a little crazy. At some points, I think I bit off more than I could chew. God still gave me the grace to get through those "crunch" moments in life, which become longer and longer as you grow older. Some days you just have to make yourself stop and go to bed and finish the rest the next day. Finally, I think I am learning the fine skill of saying no to things, instead of overbooking myself. I guess that is part of growing up as well, learning to focus on the important things in life. I just have to leave everything in God's hands and trust that everything that needs to get done, will get done.
Casting Crowns was awesome. They shared a testimony before each song of why they wrote the song or how God used that song in their life. Not that I necessarily agree with some of the stuff they did at the end of the concert, but on the whole it was a very encouraging concert to go to.
This is my third blog, three days in a row! That hasn't happened since the spring! I think that I actually feel a little into a routine with the new school year. I guess with a new grade to teach and helping out with Cheerleading after school, things have gotten a little crazy. At some points, I think I bit off more than I could chew. God still gave me the grace to get through those "crunch" moments in life, which become longer and longer as you grow older. Some days you just have to make yourself stop and go to bed and finish the rest the next day. Finally, I think I am learning the fine skill of saying no to things, instead of overbooking myself. I guess that is part of growing up as well, learning to focus on the important things in life. I just have to leave everything in God's hands and trust that everything that needs to get done, will get done.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Luke and me
Ok, so for all my fans out there, which I know are few:o), here is a picture of my nephew Luke and myself. He is the most fun kid ever! Full of energy and has quite the vocabulary for a 3-year-old! He is my oldest sister, Steph's, 3rd child. There hasn't been a time where I've been around him and he hasn't made me laugh because of something he says or something he does. My friends around here in PA even love him. Rebeka wants to marry him (which of course is not plausible), and he even gets along great with Daniel Birkface (I know its a miracle)!
I only have one more week until Christmas break! I am stoked about it:o) We actually get 3 extra days off this year because the new principal realized that we scheduled to many hours into our school year. I am off to Chi-Town for part of the break to visit my friend, Melissa Thacker.
I only have one more week until Christmas break! I am stoked about it:o) We actually get 3 extra days off this year because the new principal realized that we scheduled to many hours into our school year. I am off to Chi-Town for part of the break to visit my friend, Melissa Thacker.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
tehehehe:o)
Well, this bumper sticker was stuck on none other than Daniel Birkholz's (aka birkface, jerkface, nerdface's) car. I do believe this bumper sticker is a classic, and well, Daniel deserved a little revenge from violating poor little stella (my car). Yes, I named my car. . . but it's my only worldly asset of any significant monitary value. There will be more pictures to come of other assundry items hung from his car by yours truly:o)
Well, on a more serious note, God is truly good. I know everybody says that, but He's so patient with me even when I feel such a disconnect between my head and my heart (as stated in the last posted blog). It takes a lot of prayer to get myself out of my inward and selfish mindset, to a mindset that is totally focused on God. Often times I don't even realize how unrealistic my thoughts are until my emotions are all wacked out. But through the prayer of my friends and my own prayers, God brings me back to the right mindset. I need to think on the things that true, lovely and of good report. No more thinking on the "what if" or "if only" part of life. I am not in control of the future, and I can not change the past. God works everything out for his Glory, no matter how much I screw up or untrusting I become.
Well, on a more serious note, God is truly good. I know everybody says that, but He's so patient with me even when I feel such a disconnect between my head and my heart (as stated in the last posted blog). It takes a lot of prayer to get myself out of my inward and selfish mindset, to a mindset that is totally focused on God. Often times I don't even realize how unrealistic my thoughts are until my emotions are all wacked out. But through the prayer of my friends and my own prayers, God brings me back to the right mindset. I need to think on the things that true, lovely and of good report. No more thinking on the "what if" or "if only" part of life. I am not in control of the future, and I can not change the past. God works everything out for his Glory, no matter how much I screw up or untrusting I become.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
spectacular
How can one speak of God's spectacular creation? How can one even sum up all that God has done in creation in words? It's so hard to fathum the power of God, and yet how compassionate He is to each of us.
Ok, so it's time to be honest. I'm finding it hard to match what is in my head to what I feel in my heart. Let me explain. I have had a rough batch of relationships in my time. The last one being the worst. And as I sit here, interested in someone, but scared half to death of taking any risk at all in a relationship. I know that it takes risk in order to have a relationship, but my heart is so uneasy. Once trust is broken, it's hard to imagine trusting again. The hurt still is there, but I know that my God is greater than any hurt in any relationship that I've had. My God can heal my hurt heart.
Another area that I know the Lord is working in my heart is the area of patience in waiting for His timing. I'm so like the children of Israel. I can look back right after God works a situation out in His timing and be so grateful, then a few moments later in life I find myself discontent with God's timing once again. Like I said before, I know in my head that God's timing is perfect, but my heart is someplace else. How ignorant am I that I can't get what's in my head down to my heart?
Ok, so it's time to be honest. I'm finding it hard to match what is in my head to what I feel in my heart. Let me explain. I have had a rough batch of relationships in my time. The last one being the worst. And as I sit here, interested in someone, but scared half to death of taking any risk at all in a relationship. I know that it takes risk in order to have a relationship, but my heart is so uneasy. Once trust is broken, it's hard to imagine trusting again. The hurt still is there, but I know that my God is greater than any hurt in any relationship that I've had. My God can heal my hurt heart.
Another area that I know the Lord is working in my heart is the area of patience in waiting for His timing. I'm so like the children of Israel. I can look back right after God works a situation out in His timing and be so grateful, then a few moments later in life I find myself discontent with God's timing once again. Like I said before, I know in my head that God's timing is perfect, but my heart is someplace else. How ignorant am I that I can't get what's in my head down to my heart?
Friday, November 18, 2005
Would You Rather. . . ?
Ok, so I absolutely love this game, and of course became addicted to it immediately. I first played this game at college at an extension party, but haven't seen it around for a few years. Then, lo and behold I walk into Barnes and Noble and there it is!
So here is a sampling of questions that you have to answer in the game. You can not say neither, nor can you say both to any of the questions. You must choose one side or the other. . .
So, WOULD YOU RATHER. . .
1. have a head half its normal size, OR twice its normal size?
2. be born with an elephant trunk OR a giraffe neck?
3. have malosses in your underwear all day OR gravel in your underwear all day?
4. have rampant fingernail fungus OR permanent nose warts?
5. be temporarily invisible OR invincible?
6. be rich OR famous (but not both)?
7. have eyes the size of golfballs OR teeth the size of computer keys?
8. have to turn around three times everytime before you sit down (like a dog) OR do a little jig everytime you enter a doorway?
9. be able to bathe everyday but have to wear the same set of unwashed clothes and underwear OR give up your right to bathe but be able to change clothes everyday?
10. never feel pain OR never fear?
If you have a chance, leave a comment on what you would rather for some of these questions. The best part for some of these questions is to picture the abnormality in your mind. . . .tehehehe:o)
Sorry this isn't the usual serious blogging I have been doing, but I was feeling light-hearted today:o)
So here is a sampling of questions that you have to answer in the game. You can not say neither, nor can you say both to any of the questions. You must choose one side or the other. . .
So, WOULD YOU RATHER. . .
1. have a head half its normal size, OR twice its normal size?
2. be born with an elephant trunk OR a giraffe neck?
3. have malosses in your underwear all day OR gravel in your underwear all day?
4. have rampant fingernail fungus OR permanent nose warts?
5. be temporarily invisible OR invincible?
6. be rich OR famous (but not both)?
7. have eyes the size of golfballs OR teeth the size of computer keys?
8. have to turn around three times everytime before you sit down (like a dog) OR do a little jig everytime you enter a doorway?
9. be able to bathe everyday but have to wear the same set of unwashed clothes and underwear OR give up your right to bathe but be able to change clothes everyday?
10. never feel pain OR never fear?
If you have a chance, leave a comment on what you would rather for some of these questions. The best part for some of these questions is to picture the abnormality in your mind. . . .tehehehe:o)
Sorry this isn't the usual serious blogging I have been doing, but I was feeling light-hearted today:o)
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
candles in the darkness
Go light your world, is what comes to mind when I see this picture.
"There is a candle in every soul
some brightly burning, some dark and cold" This is an excerpt from a Chris Rice song, that I absolutely love. We, as Christians, are to be brightly burning lights to this dark world around us.
We are not to try to blend in, but we are to be different. Different, not as in odd, but in a good way. Where people around us notice that we have something that they do not have. Something that makes a difference, that gives us the inner joy through the good and the bad times of life. It's our Saviour, Jesus Christ, who is our Life!
Christ is all I need, and I am complete in Him! It hit me again this morning during elementary chapel, while the kids were singing "All in All" on the top of their lungs. There is nothing more precious than children singing from their hearts to the Lord. Just the pure joy exuberating on their faces as they make a joyful noise.
"There is a candle in every soul
some brightly burning, some dark and cold" This is an excerpt from a Chris Rice song, that I absolutely love. We, as Christians, are to be brightly burning lights to this dark world around us.
We are not to try to blend in, but we are to be different. Different, not as in odd, but in a good way. Where people around us notice that we have something that they do not have. Something that makes a difference, that gives us the inner joy through the good and the bad times of life. It's our Saviour, Jesus Christ, who is our Life!
Christ is all I need, and I am complete in Him! It hit me again this morning during elementary chapel, while the kids were singing "All in All" on the top of their lungs. There is nothing more precious than children singing from their hearts to the Lord. Just the pure joy exuberating on their faces as they make a joyful noise.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Little People
It's so true. Why do we even think that we can do anything in and of our own strength. We are little people who God uses once we realize our emptiness. What's amazing is how God uses are inabilities to show Himself! I can not get over how great our God is. . . it's so amazing that it brings me to tears even as I type this blog. Why would I ever think that I could control my life and end up with true joy and fulfillment? My mere finite mind is in no comparison to God's infinite mind and plans He has for me. Here is a song that as I was reading on the plane to Florida I heard on my CD player. It's by Casting Crowns, and the words brought tears to my eyes.
"Praise You in this Storm"
I was sure by now/ that you would have reached down/ and wiped my tears away/ Stepped in and saved the day/ But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls/ I barely hear You whisper through the rain/ "I'm with you"/ And as Your mercy falls/ I raise my hands and praise the God who gives/ And takes away
I'll praise You in this storm/ And I will lift my hands/ For You are who You are/ No matter where I am/ Every tear I've cried/ You hold in Your hand/ You never left my side/ And though my heart is torn/ I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind/ You heard my cry/ You raised me up again/ My strength is almost gone/ How can I carry on/ If I can't find You
I lift my eyes unto the hills/ Where does my help come from?/ My help comes from the Lord/ The Maker of Heaven and Earth
Another song on their new CD that also goes along the same lines that really has hit home with me is called "In Me"
And as I finish up this entry on my blog, here is the chorus to "In Me":
Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong/ when I'm blind, You shine Your light on me/ Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability/ How refreshing to know You don't need me/ How amazing to find that You want me/ So I'll stand on Your truth, and I'll fight with Your strength/ Until you bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me
"Praise You in this Storm"
I was sure by now/ that you would have reached down/ and wiped my tears away/ Stepped in and saved the day/ But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls/ I barely hear You whisper through the rain/ "I'm with you"/ And as Your mercy falls/ I raise my hands and praise the God who gives/ And takes away
I'll praise You in this storm/ And I will lift my hands/ For You are who You are/ No matter where I am/ Every tear I've cried/ You hold in Your hand/ You never left my side/ And though my heart is torn/ I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind/ You heard my cry/ You raised me up again/ My strength is almost gone/ How can I carry on/ If I can't find You
I lift my eyes unto the hills/ Where does my help come from?/ My help comes from the Lord/ The Maker of Heaven and Earth
Another song on their new CD that also goes along the same lines that really has hit home with me is called "In Me"
And as I finish up this entry on my blog, here is the chorus to "In Me":
Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong/ when I'm blind, You shine Your light on me/ Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability/ How refreshing to know You don't need me/ How amazing to find that You want me/ So I'll stand on Your truth, and I'll fight with Your strength/ Until you bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me
Friday, October 07, 2005
joyful relief
It is most definitely a joyful relief to be friday! The weekend is finally here and sleep is on its way. I am at school, still, which is on the depressing side for a friday night. I had so much to do in the classroom, and also had to get lesson plans done. All so I don't have to come back in tomorrow. I am going back on my rule of no work on friday nights. Friday night is usually my night to unwind from the week.
We are getting hit hard with rain this weekend, which made recess so much fun today inside! The kids love it, but I can see how it drives the teacher insane--having the kids inside all day. All that pent up energy has to be released somehow. . . We played a few of the classics such as "heads up 7-up", "four corners" and "huckle-buckle-beanstalk". . . which brought back some memories:o)
So the picture for this blog represents how I feel, a release from stress both from work and relationships. God is truly good to me. Even though I hardly ever understand His ways, I know I don't have to I just have to trust. Certain situation and circumstances have come to be in my life, and in my human understanding I thought I would be "down in the dumps", but God has truly given me that inner joy! I can not say enough about how good God is!
We are getting hit hard with rain this weekend, which made recess so much fun today inside! The kids love it, but I can see how it drives the teacher insane--having the kids inside all day. All that pent up energy has to be released somehow. . . We played a few of the classics such as "heads up 7-up", "four corners" and "huckle-buckle-beanstalk". . . which brought back some memories:o)
So the picture for this blog represents how I feel, a release from stress both from work and relationships. God is truly good to me. Even though I hardly ever understand His ways, I know I don't have to I just have to trust. Certain situation and circumstances have come to be in my life, and in my human understanding I thought I would be "down in the dumps", but God has truly given me that inner joy! I can not say enough about how good God is!
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